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Earl of Wacksbury

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(3 slaps on the bottom |Spank me!)

[22 Dec 2005|05:42pm]
[ mood | horny ]

Today I was horny as fuck, so I went to an adult store in Lafayette and bought a fake pussy to replace the one STOLEN by the contractors who were fixing my apartment's window and ceiling post-Katrina (among all the other stuff they stole)...but I wrote about that sickening event in my regular journal, so let's just skip it.

This fake pussy was actually the same price as the other one, but it came with more lube and a vibrating bullet which you can stick in the other side to make the whole thing vibrate. Oh my God. Now I realize why these things are popular with the ladies. This fake pussy actually had a hole wide enough to fuck, which I did today with gusto. Several times. It's probably the closest I've ever felt to the real thing (but still doesn't compare).

I also bought a DVD to replace the ones stolen. All-in-all, a good day of getting off. It was one of those times where I just devoted the entire day to jacking off. I just hadn't had much chance to do that lately, so I was due. Felt damn good to just let loose.

(4 slaps on the bottom |Spank me!)

[12 Nov 2005|09:00am]
[ mood | horny ]

This morning in the shower I had the intense urge to want to make out in the shower with a woman--washing and rinsing and drying each other, all while kissing, and touching, and rubbing against each other's bare skin. Then I had the strong urge to want to relax naked in a hot tub or whirlpool...with all the other stuff that would go along with that, of course. I don't know why. This is the second time in a week I've had such thoughts in the shower, where I usually don't get sexual thoughts very often, despite the fact I'm naked and soapy. I need some type of sexual release. It's so unfair that I'm the horniest person I know, but I never get any action. I masturbate twice a day, for crying out loud. Luckily, my mom is going out in a few minutes, so I can go at it for the first time today. I really don't have anything else to do here.

(3 slaps on the bottom |Spank me!)

[06 Nov 2005|11:55am]
[ mood | naughty ]

This morning I woke up extra horny. Luckily, my parents decided to go shopping for essentials at a mall in another town (I am used to living on my own, but the hurricane has forced this temporary sitution of living with the parents...I feel like I'm a teenager again!). I took a hot shower and began stroking my cock with the soap lather. I rarely ever masturbate in the shower (maybe once every two years!) but the lather felt great today, especially on my balls. I enjoyed playing with them, getting them soapy, and slapping them against my thigh.

Wonderfully aroused, I rinsed and toweled off. It felt so liberating to walk naked from the shower to my bed, feeling the cool air on my moist, clean skin. You know that great soft, warm feeling your skin has after a nice hot shower? It felt great. I had a solid erection. It always amuses me to walk around naked with an erection. It's as if my frame of mind at that moment is no different than when I was 14 and watching myself in the mirror as I played with my cock. It makes me feel like a horny teenager. Anyway, I enjoyed the sight of myself in the mirror walking around with my cock standing straight out. And I even caught a glimpse of my shadow against the wall...and then I was laughing out loud. There is nothing funnier than seeing your shadow with an erect penis.

I was clearly in a playful mood. And this continued as I masturbated on the bed. For some reason, I had an intense urge of wanting to be spanked. So I started slapping my ass--very lightly. I was surprised at how loud the sound echoed in the apartment! I was really only "patting" myself and not even feeling any sting, but the sound was a very loud "SMACK" that echoed. haha. I usually masturbate on my back, but, as I said, this morning was a little different for me. I got on my knees and thrust by hips back-and-forth as if I were fucking doggy style. I enjoyed this very much. I grabbed a towel and placed it on my bed. Settling on my hands and knees, I began thrusting my hips back and forth, humping the bed. The rough sensation of the towel against the underside of my cock was bliss. I haven't masturbated like this since high school, as far as I can remember. I then began slapping my ass again as I humped the towel. At this point I was having SERIOUS fun. Right as i felt myself close to orgasm, I raised up on my knees, grabbed my cock, and jacked off all over the towel. I had a nice view from my loft as I did this. In fact, it gave me a kinky idea: wouldn't it be cool if a guy were on the second floor of a house jacking off--his cock hanging over the edge of the banister--and the girl were laying down on the floor down below with her mouth open...it would be like a rain shower of cum! lol He would try to aim for her mouth; but of course at that distance the cum would just go all over her...which is exactly the point. It would be like a contest to see if he could get a drop or two into her mouth. Wouldn't that be fun?

I'm such a kinky bastard. Well, I think "playful" is a better term. I certainly won't run out of ideas to make sex fun (if I ever had the chance to HAVE sex. Jeez).

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Library Sex [19 Sep 2005|01:28pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

I stumbled over to the shelves, my pants wrapped around my ankles like shackles, searching for the thickest book I could find. I glanced down to a lower shelf and smiled. As if guiding me in the right direction like some phallic dowsing rod, my rigid cock stood horizontal, pointing to the perfect book for our frisky frolic: Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. I grabbed the weighty tome and wobbled back to the desk, my prick wiggling back-and-forth like the tail of a supremely giddy puppy. With a laugh, I kicked off my shoes and the offending pants to free my legs. I slapped the Pynchon novel onto the desk. With one swift motion, I slid my hands under her ass, lifted her off the desk, and sat her bare bottom on the thick post-modern masterpiece. My laugh was cut short by a firm tug on my cock. Now that our bodies had been properly aligned for the desired contact, Sarah was leaning forward with her feet propped on the edge of the desk, pulling me between her legs, and playfully rubbing my throbbing head along the moistening lips of her labia. Her impatient urge to satisfy her most base desires led to her rough handling of my prick. I wrapped my palm around her slender neck and held a firm grim with my fingers. "Careful!" I chided. "That's not a rubber dong you're handling...it's the real thing!"

"Ooh. Am I hurting you?"

"A little."

"Good." She grinned, tightening her grip on my shaft and swerved her hips to maximize the friction of my cock's thick contours against the sensitive bulb of her clit. I moved forward to better allow her to use my dick for her pleasure. There are no words to describe the sensations we both felt. I shuttered weakly as the underside of my prick slid across her clit. She seemed to enjoy how the bullet-shaped curve of my head rolled across the outer surface of her pussy. After a few moments of her diddling, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away--her fingers sticky with my pre-cum. She looked up with silent, pleading eyes. I moved her hand toward her eager lips. As she slid her fingers deeply into her mouth to taste me, I gently guided the head of my cock into her cunt. I teased her softly, jerking my hips back and forth...sliding the tip of my dick inside her only up to the curved ridge of my head...using the tip of my cock to push her tight lips open with each thrust --but never sliding completely inside her. We both watched with rapt, eager expressions as she took the head of my prick into her slick pink hole with each short thrust. I could feel the heat radiating from Sarah's aroused cunt, and knew she could feel the warm throbbing of my pulse though the tip of my prick as I held it within the slick, slender opening of her labia. She wiggled her ass back and forth on the Pynchon novel, clearly wanting to feel the full girth of cock pressed deeply inside her. The plastic dustcover of the book was slippery on the brightly polished wooden desk, allowing the book to slide slightly with each filthy gyration of her haunches.

She kissed me fully, deeply on the lips. Her feet, which had been propped on the edge of the desk, were now pressed against my hips as if bracing for the ensuing violence our of fucking. Her legs were wide and inviting.

"Fuck me hard," she breathed between rough kisses. "I want your cock to HURT me." Her passionate pleas entered my mouth in puffs of hot breath that mirrored the heat between her legs. I kissed her harshly, holding the bottom of her lip between my teeth hard enough to draw a bit of blood. Sarah moaned softly. I grabbed the book beneath her ass and, with a sudden force that collided her body into mine, slammed the book into my thighs, drawing her body forward to impale her cunt deep onto the shaft of my rigid cock.

(Spank me!)

I've got a little secret... [24 Aug 2005|08:15pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

I've been feeling REALLY dirty recently. I purchased a fake pussy at a sex shop. It's the first masturbatory toy I've ever purchased. The outside feels very realistic. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel very realistic when I use it. The opening is absolutely TINY and I have use tons of lube (supplied with the toy). It's not easy to sliiiiide into like a real vagina. Instead, I have to place the head of my cock onto the opening and literally PRESS myself inside it using my fingers. Once inside, it's like a vice grip. Sliding it up and down feels pretty good, but the faster and harder I work it (and, uh, I like it fast and hard), the quicker the lube dries up and I have to start all over. In the end, I'd rather use my hand.

I have a thing for my German teacher (not the same as in the spring semester...ANOTHER one). Today in class she wore a little cream-colored dress with thin straps. She wasn't wearing a bra (God I love European women!) and the outline of her nipples were poking out a little from the front of her dress. Her breasts look fantastically pert. She's maybe between the ages of 30 or 32, but she has the body of a 20 year old. Our classroom has a little raised stage for the professor to stand. I decided to sit in the middle of the room near the back so I could get a good view of the board. Well, I also get a good view of HER. Today she sat in a chair as she went over the lesson. There was no desk in front of her and she kept crossing her legs, making her skirt slide VERY far up her leg. She would also twirl her foot around, which, for me, is the ultimate distraction.

Within five minutes of class I had become very hard. I mean, so hard that it was making my pants painfully tight. I was not embarrassed or anything since I was in the back of class and no one was behind me or to the side. And she certainly couldn't see below my desk from her position on the little stage in front of class. Sometimes I would sneak a hand down and give myself a little squeeze or a tug. It was deliciously dirty. I maintained the erection almost the entire class. When we left, I had an hour and fifteen minutes between classes. I waited until most of the class had filed out and then got up and quickly walked across the room with my bag in front of me (it looks like a little briefcase/file folder bag, so it was not odd that I was carrying it in front of me). I darted across the hall about fifteen feet to the men's room, found an empty stall, and had a much needed break. I was finished within three minutes. I came really hard (stifling a yell). I do these kinds of things all the time--so often that I don't even remember to record them here. I think I'll start to update this more often.

(Spank me!)

God... [20 Jun 2005|03:35pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

It's so torturous to spend an entire day around scantily-clad college girls and then to come back to my apartment extremely tired and horny, only to glance out my bedroom window and see MORE college girls in bikinis sunning on deck chairs by the pool...with their tops unlaced to tan their backs.


I shouldn't be thinking what I am thinking. Because I know even THINKING it makes me perverted (in the dirty sense). Thank God for Internet pornography. It gives me the release I need. I guess it's less perverted to jack off to Internet porn than it is to do so while peeking out at the women by the pool. Because if not for the Internet, that's exactly what I'd be doing right now. And even though I'm not doing that, just thinking that I would be doing it without Internet porn makes me feel a little dirty.

But what else is a horny guy to do?

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I can't believe I did this... [03 May 2005|05:09pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

Being without Internet access for a week is rough. Especially if you rely on it for PORN. The computer store to which I took my laptop happens to be about two miles from an infamous adult video store: "Mr. Binky's." I tried to control myself. I told myself, "It's only a couple more days. You can go that long with porn!"

I couldn't.

And so, in the afternoon on the day before my birthday, I kept driving past the computer store, beyond the airport, to where the main road turned into a sketchy two-lane drive in a sketchy neighborhood. Mr. Binky's is famous in New Orleans. It a high class place (well, as high class as a porn shop can be). The upside is that it is not a sleazy dive. The downside is that it's SO popular you might run into someone you know! lol Thankfully, it's in an out-of-the-way place. Having never gone to porn shop before, I was a little nervous. I was surprised to see that four women worked there...three were MY AGE or younger. That, my friends, was fucking hot. They were "girl next door" types where short shorts and tight shirts. How did they end up working at Mr. Binky's? I bet they get hit on every hour of every day. haha

The front wall was vocered in more sex toys than I could imagine. I mean, there were dildos literally 5 feet long (why in God's name would anyone buy such a monstrosity, I'll never know). I quickly made my way to the DVD section. I admit it: I bought two. Hustler's Barely Legal 23 (the front of the box proclaims: "YAY! We're finally 18!") and "Foot Traffic 2." *ahem* I was looking for a nice nylon/stocking/leg video, but they were all like 30 bucks (there's no way I'm spending THAT much for porn). I was checked out by one of the nice young girls. It didn't feel strange at all that I was handing a girl my age (or younger) two pornos for her to put into a bag for me. In fact, I thought the entire trip was...exciting. Yes, there were a bunch a sketchy looking guys there (but who am I to judge...I was there, too). But there was also a couple there. And, hell, women get "toys" to help themselves get off, so why can't a guy buy some cheap porn DVDs?

The next day, I used the DVD player my parents bought for my birthday to watch the DVDs. How hilarious. If they only knew the first DVD I watched with their gift was "Foot Traffic 2," they would have died. lol

Oh well, now that I'm back online, I don't really need the DVDs. But, to be honest, I kind of liked the thrill of going to Mr. Binky's...and I might go back again one day.

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The German Teacher, Part II [11 Apr 2005|06:22pm]
[ mood | horny ]

Kyle allowed himself to be led by the hand around the desk. Anna bent over to view her computer screen, forcing her curvy flanks to brush the front of the boy's pants.

"Here," she said, almost in a whisper. "These are from last week. Remember...don't tell anyone!"

The computer screen flashed as a window popped open. Kyle caught his breath. There, on the screen, was a grainy digital webcam photograph of Anna. The edge of the photograph ended at her neck, yet it was quite obvious that the young German girl was the subject of the lurid image. She was reclining in her office chair, a white sweater raised to her shoulders and exposing the firm globes of her breasts. Her dark dress was hiked up to her stomach, beneath which her legs were raised to the seat of her chair and spread wide in that gloriously vulgar manner that screams "I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME HERE." One hand was between her legs, daintily pulling aside her lavender panties to reveal the deeper pink hue of her peach. She was visibly moist.

"PLEASE. You won't tell anyone?" she implored. Her hand moved to Kyle's arm and slid down to grasp his wrist. Kyle smiled. In the moment it took for him to glance at the mock-innocent look of the German girl who was his teacher this semester, the words had begun to tumble out of his mouth before he could think to stop them: "Well, I don't know. That all depends on my GRADE this semester." Anna's expression changed from pout to shock. Now it was Kyle's turn to grab her wrist. And he did so roughly. "These types of things can get a girl in trouble," he said.

She understood his meaning.

"But I like trouble," she responded, moving his hand up to her chest. "Imagine what your professors would think if they found out you had touched me...inappropriately."

"But I like being inappropriate," he said with a smile. He placed her hand on the front of his pants. And there they stood for a moment, watching each other. Feeling each other.

"Then we have an understanding?" she said.

"Perfectly. How badly do you not want me to tell?"

"How badly do you want an 'A'?" She moved her lips close to his mouth as if to kiss him. Kyle closed his eyes expectantly, waiting....waiting...there was no contact. He felt the wisp of her mouth on the edge of his own, so close to his parted lips that her hot breath rushed into his mouth as she spoke rapidly in her deep, accented voice: "We both know what we want. We can give it to each other..."

"Give?" he said, his hand sliding along her breast and around to the long blonde ponytail down her back.

"We can give each other EXACTLY what we both want..."

"Give?" Kyle repeated. "I don't know about you, but I take what I want." He grabbed her ponytail roughly, pulling her head back to an angle in line with his suddenly fierce eyes. Anna exhaled quickly, her chest heaving forward as her head was pulled back. She stood on her toes now, pressing into Kyle's body and pushing her entire frame upward against the force of Kyle's firm hold on her hair. Her mouth was now further from Kyle's. She stretched forward, reaching her lips higher to touch his. "Yes," she moaned. "I want you to take me." Her lips were once again brushing his own. She strained against the force of his hand on her hair to make contact with his lips.

"Yes?" he said.

"YES. It's what I want."

"Tell me," Kyle urged, tugging harder now. "Tell me what you want."

With pain and hunger and yearning she spoke, her accent thicker now in the throes of passion: "You fucking heard me. I want you to take me. Now. Hard."

He licked her lips tauntingly.

In response, she tightened her hold between his legs.

"Bitch," he breathed.

"You love it, you filthy prick. Now FUCK me."

He released his grip.

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New story... [07 Feb 2005|03:16pm]
I started this last week. Have no idea if I will finish it or it will linger unfinished like my previous story. Depends on how horny I get in the coming days.

The German Teacher, Part One of ?Collapse )

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[31 Dec 2004|11:25am]
[ mood | bored and needing sex ]

This journal has been lagging recently. I have to stop simply posting pictures and making dirty comments about them. I want to post CONTENT, but I just haven't been in the mood recently. Oh sure, I've been horny. I'm horny every day! But I've had trouble translating that into my journal. I have so many story ideas (including finishing the monk story), but I can't seem to just sit down and write. I haven't been in the mood recently to express my sexuality in that way. I love writing cheesy dirty stories, but I'd much rather just FUCK. But I haven't done that in long, long time. I'm also tired of writing about my masturbation. How pathetic. I wish I could be writing about my exciting, playful, kinky sex life. But I don't have one. I wish I did.

So I guess I'm in kind of a rut. Hopefully this will break when I go back to school in January and will be surrounded by many cute college girls in tight shirts and small shorts. Maybe that will jump start the filthy part of my mind?

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[26 Nov 2004|09:56am]
[ mood | dirty ]

So this morning I'm flipping through the channels and come across some hhhhhhhhhot chick singing on Regis and Kelly. I mean this girl was boner-inspiring. So I'm watching her shake her moneymaker, thinking filthy things. And when she finishes the song Regis and Kelly walk on stage. This chick is so hot she makes Kelly Ripa seem plain. Regis turns to the audience and says, "Guess how old she is? Guess!" The girl says, "Noooo, don't tell them!" Now the girl clearly looks 19 or 20. I'm thinking, "Maybe she's older, like 25, and she wants people to think she's younger to appeal to teenagers?" Regis says, "She's THIRTEEN!" I almost died. I felt like a sicko perv. I checked the Regis and Kelly website and found out her name is "JoJo." I went to her website and could definitely tell she was a kid from those pics (which were probably a little out-dated). But on stage, damned if she didn't look college age. I felt so horrible. I got wood from a thirteen-year-old!! :-/

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[19 Nov 2004|03:32pm]
I took this online fetish quiz: http://monetsgarden.net/fquiz/fetishquiz.html

My ResultsCollapse )

I won't comment on the accuracy of this (we must keep some things mysterious, yes?), except to say this: I do not have "quite a collection of bondage gear ready to use right now." But if I had the time and money, I might have a couple. hehehe

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A Ravish for Emily, Part IV [17 Nov 2004|07:15pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

Part IVCollapse )

*Edit: I can't believe I wrote that the wine came from the BASEMENT. lol I have changed it to CELLAR. That's what I get for typing too quickly and not proofreading!

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A Ravish for Emily, Part III [17 Nov 2004|10:30am]
[ mood | cheeky ]

The story that was so long stuck in my mind is now moving along incredibly well. We are not even half way through the story. In fact, we haven't even gotten to the good stuff! It's all about the build up. ;)

Part IIICollapse )

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"A Ravish for Emily, Part II" [14 Nov 2004|01:48pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

Part IICollapse )

To be continued...

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Finally: "A Ravish for Emily, Part I" [14 Nov 2004|01:45pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

On August 22 I posted the beginning of this story. While I had more typed, I held back, then re-wrote...and re-wrote. Well, I've finally finished part one. I'm not entirely happy, but it will do. I have included the beginning of the story, since it has been almost three months since I posted it.

A Ravish for Emily, Part ICollapse )

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[02 Nov 2004|09:54am]
[ mood | naughty ]

I'm so horny right now. You just don't know...

(Spank me!)

[23 Oct 2004|08:28am]
[ mood | horny ]

These video clips are sooooooo hot:

"Yeahhhh...you like it when she SUCKS your COCK?"

Yes, please!

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[17 Oct 2004|12:42pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling pleasure and a bit of discomfort. As I shook off the cobwebs I realized I had a rock-hard erection...but I was sleeping on my stomach! The result was my cock being pressed stiffly against my boxers and the bed below me. I began to wiggle around and lift my body to free the little guy--give him some breathing room, so to speak. The result was quite pleasurable. So there I was, half-asleep in the middle of the night with a massive boner, dry-humping my mattress. After a moment I started chuckling at this development. I turned over onto my back and looked down. I could see the sheets rising like a tent below my waist. Of course, there was no way I was going back to sleep at this point! I threw back the covers and slid down my boxers. Now free from confinement and struck by the cool night air, my little guy was getting very jumpy indeed. So I went to town. I probably came within 45 seconds. Rarely do I do this in the middle of the night. My stomach and chest were now soaked. I reached over, grabbed some Kleenex, and cleaned up as best I could. I tossed the Kleenex into the trash bin beside the bed, turned over, and promptly went back to sleep, not even bothering to raise my boxers.

Just one of the pleasant surprises of being young and horny.

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A little Halloween fun... [06 Oct 2004|01:44pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

title or description

Oh, to be that pumpkin...

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